1958

i got home and i really didnt want to be there.
i open the lobbey door, walk past the elevators, walk past the stairs and i headed straight for the exit door, making up my next move as i went.
i walked outside and headed for a bench, not too far away form my appartment.
using my purse as a pillow, i laid down and stared at the sky.
watching the clouds go by and seeing the odd star, i felt at peace.
i was freezing cold, no hat and no gloves, and my figners were cold to the point that changing songs on my ipod became a mission.
i kept telling my self " youll get sick, your hands will get frost bite", but it didnt matter.
i dont know why but i felt more comfortable, shaking from the cold, than if i was in my appartment.
lying on that bench, blasting my music, listening to 1958 and hey john, whats your name again, i felt soothed.
i didnt want to go up but i knew i had to becuase this feeling would probably last for a while and i couldnt afford to get sick again.
i just wanted to escape, be completly alone, with maybe contact with one other person.
i cant even beging to explain it, i wish i was still out there.
i dont know if it helped, but i think it did.
i think i found my new serenity.