i hear the hate in all your words

it amazes me what fate can do.
how cruel a bitch she really is.
im not ignorant so i do realize that death does occur but when you know its going to happen, especialy to someone you couldnt imagine living without, reality sets you back in your place.
when there what seems like inches away from it, all you can do is hope
but it seems like its a waste of breath and energy.
not to say ill stop, but its doing the complete opposite effect.
thanks

give me a reason to wake up and face the light

the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay

i think i wanna get the word strength tattooed
or hope, maybe both

picture to burn

i really really really fucking hate this english essay

right up to the end

i got casted:):)
in something which hasnt even been determined
oh well i got casted:):)

i put my heart to the limit, and this is where i stay

interview today..
i dont think it went so well
but i really need this job
or A job.
fuck.. well ill find out soon enough..

I would rather see your face in Hell than speak another word of this perfect world

i really dont believe in the saying that money doesnt buy happiness.
yes there are people who have a lot of money and are not as happy as those who have hardly any,
but speaking from expereince, i know money could have saved my family a lot of stress, had it been available.
it just depends on how your raised and how you treat it.
money really is a privilage,
and society would be no where without it.

I saw the disappointment from across your face

is it a good thing to try and do whatever possable to avoid thinking about something?
or worrying.
is it worht it?
not everything is avoidable and what you can stay away from will eventualy come back and bite you in the ass later

i need a little more luck than a little bit

everything is getting harder.
i can hope all i want but knowing the reality isnt helping.
knowing that what im hoping for has small odds of coming true, doesnt make me feel any better or more secure with the eventualy outcome.
im really scared and ive never been so scared in my life.
im angry, and frustrated and im tired all the time.
its weird how i feel. its hard to explain in words.

i have no reason to appologize

The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day. Every day we face the same truth that life is fleeting that our time here is short and to honor the fallen we must live our own lives well.

-One Tree Hill

its hard to speak without a tongue

After everything you’ve done.
After your second face failed.
This time theres nothing left to save.
And your words were broken

Keep walking.
Keep breathing.
Keep cursing our names.
We’re plotting your end by the dawn.
We’re apparitions that stalk your every turn.

And until I see the moonlight shine with your blood we’ll dig your grave.

no line on the horizon

There's a part of me in chaos that's quiet

And there's a part of you that wants me to riot
Everybody needs to cry or needs to spit
Every sweet-tooth needs just a little hit
Every beauty needs to go out with an idiot
How can you stand next to the truth and not see it?
Change of heart comes slow..
It's not a hill it's a mountain
As you start out the climb
Do you believe me or are you doubtin?
We're gonna make it all the way to the light
But I know I'll go crazy if I don't go crazy tonight

Every generation gets a chance to change the world
Divination that will listen to your boys and girls
Is the sweetest melody the one we haven't heard?
Is it true that perfect love drives out all fear?
The right to be ridiculous is something I hold dear
But change of heart comes slow...

another song for the weekend

I fell asleep with the lights on

I can see your the first one in a long time.
That had some faith in me
(have faith in me)
I tell my friends, it wont be long
Before it's time for me to come back home
It feels like I'm ready for anything
If you can wait for me.

turn your back on me for the last time

I'll rip that scandalous bitch in two
We'll bring the noise

Try to pretend that I never even knew your name
'cause everything you are disgusts me

(Too bad I can't turn back time)
So I wouldn't be here
what I'd give for you to disappear
so tell me girly how's your edge?

You've got nothing better to do
I know why you can't see straight
I thought you were better than this
but you're just like everyone else

if looks could kill

its amazing how your view on a book or movie, for example, can change so quickly after one action.
if you watch a show 5 months prior to that incident than go back to it, your perception of it can completly be changed.

i dont wanna be anything other than what ive been trying to be lately

i finaly get my hair cut on friday and i cant wait.
its too dead..
i look like im growing dreads..:/
itl be insanely short on but whatever
itl be so worth it

its hard to speak without a tongue

i think its fucking bullshit thats hes not being paid as much.
this isnt his fault.
he didnt ask for this.
hes not taking time off work by choice.
knowing him, if he could hed still be going to work.
it is not justified.
its amazing how much of a dick people can be.
id love to see him in that situation.

memories and dying days

 all i wanna do is curl into a ball, crawl under my sheets and just sleep for days.
i cant wait to go to sleep tonight

ex's and oh's

I was reading about a little kid whose mom told him the key to life was happiness. When he was in school the teacher asked them to write down what they wanted to be when they grew up. He said happy. They said he didn't understand the assignment. He said they didn't understand life. My generation GMH

One of my neighbors has been recently diagnosed with Acute Lymphatic Leukemia, a type of cancer. He is 7 years old. His classmates held a hair cutting party for him so he wouldn't have to go through losing his hair alone. Bald 7-year-olds GMH.

Today was character day at my school. I saw an asian kid dressed as a box of crayola crayons. On the back he wrote "Made in China ;)". He totally made my day. MLIA


Last night, my winning word in Scrabble was "sexy." My points? 69. Thank you, irony. MLIA.


Today, my mom got a call from the nursing home that my grandma lives at, telling us that my 90 year old grandma just punched some old lady in the face because she tryed to steal her fake flowers. I have never been some proud to call her my grandma.MLIA

why dont we end this lie? i cant pretend

the past weekend i spent almost 3 hours in my room, on my bed, listening to my ipod and writing lyrics in a notebook.
i had a book of paper and nothing to write on those blank pages.
so i wrote lyrics.
some related to how i was feeling at the moment and others are just ones i like.
im determined to have 10 pages of lyrics by the end of october.

my heart beat stumbles

its amazing how music is like medicine.
endless amounts of people use it for comfort.
its infinitely versatile. and regardless of who you are and what your preference is, there is always something for you to listen to.
not all good music is mainstream.
due to this i doubt it will ever go out of style.
music will never be forgotten or left in the shadows of time or become a simple memory.

forever is over

i would really appreciate it if you could make up your mind.
i understand your going through shit but who isnt?
i just dont want to waste my time wondering.

i hear the hate in all your words

imagination is insane.
it can take us places that we never even knew existed.
and they don't. there only real in our minds.
something will only become real if its moved from our minds into life. an object, or something on paper.
a thought expressed.
i really think imagination is the best thing ever.
it allows us to escape from the horrors of reality.
it allows us to create something that can better society.
it allows us to expand our minds.

i know i could be better, all stars could be brighter

originality and acceptance.
Can we ever have both?
we try so hard to be original and unique but truth is, were all the same.
everyone wants to fit into society, that is to be accepted by those around us.
we dont want to be seen as freaks.
yes there are those exceptions who dont give a shit and im all for them, i could never do that.
originality is something we forever try to grasp but will never attain.

for those who've read frye, can u tell its effecting me..?

the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay

ignoracne is bliss
but is it really?
i mean honestly, yeah in some situations people would be happier if they didnt know the truth
but its also said that the truth will set you free.
i guess its personal preference, but personaly i believe in both.
-truth: i know im going to die one day
-ignorance: i dont know when
and i like it that way

ignorance is your new best friend

it all comes down to that day
november 16th
i guess its all up to the gods of hope now, and science...
please
i cant afford to loose you