heartless

canada!<3


and guess who got the job.. :)

try honesty

Cmon Canada..

paper planes

so..job?
90% sure I have it.
I hate that I dont wanna get excited for something I'm not even completly sure I have, because I dont wanna jinx it.
I guess I'll find out teusday
(yn)

you were my everything and i really miss you

yay g1:)
finally

all because of you, i believe in angels

g1 tomorrow..?
(yn)

Hey darling, I hope you're good tonight

It doesnt feel like it's been 82 days.
Should i be satrting to accept it?
Highly doubt that.
My denial is increasing, if anything.

Go tell them it's not as simple as you think

82 days

You can't trust everyone you meet

Wow, low blow.
That really wasnt justifiable, it's pathetic.

I hope you come to your senses and I hope you two work things out.
You two have such a history and it would be a shame to see it fall apart. Your friendship is genuine and one of a kind.
I hope it gets better, for both of you.

his last walk

How long has it been since someone touched part of you other than your body?

-Laurel Hoodwrit

Don't forget yourselves we've made up our minds

You cannot step into the same river twice. -Heraclitus, in Diogenes Laertius, Lives

You'll find me in the same spot believe me I could never stop

There's more to the truth than just the facts.- Unknown

Where do you draw the line?

We are more often treacherous through weakness than through calculation.

-Francois De La Rochefoucauld

swollen members

an angel of mercy

Does anyone know the movie Ever After?
When I was little I absolutley loved that movie. I watched it over and over again and never got tired of it.
It's on right now and, of course, Im watching it. Memories flood my brain, and I remember why I loved it so much.

story of the year

I had a dream last night that my dad was still alive. He was sick but he was still alive, and he could do things, he wasnt bed ridden.

When i woke up I thought he was still alive.
When i finally realised that he wasnt, it was as if 10,000 knives had stabbed me all over. Like 10 people were all beating the shit out of me. Thats the best way i can describe it,how it felt, but it doesnt do it justice.

another nail for your coffin

we watch the city fucking bleed
and bring the world to its knees

the little things give you away

I know I've got a face in me
Points out all my mistakes to me
You've got a face on the inside too and
Your paranoia's probably worse
I don't know what set me off first
But I know what I can't stand
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is
I can't add up to what you can but

Everybody has a face that they hold inside
A face that awakes when I close my eyes
A face watches every time they lie
A face that laughs every time they fall

it goes on

It's bugging me
Grating me
And twisting me around
Yeah I'm endlessly
Caving in
And turning inside out

the price we pay

For bitterness inside
Is growing like the new born
When you've seen, seen too much
Too young, young
Soulless is everywhere
Hopeless time to roam
The distance to your home
Fades away to nowhere
How much are you worth?
You can't come down to earth
You're swelling up
You're unstoppable
'Cause you've seen
Seen too much
And too young, young

Soulless is everywhere
Destroy the spineless
Show me it's real
Wasting our last chance
To come away
Just break a silence
'Cause i'm drifting away
Away from you

edge of the world

I dont know what happend, but i hope to God that everything gets better.
I hate seeing you go through this.

tip the scales

This isnt something that can be fixed with some duck tape and glue.
It cant be mended with a cast or surgery.

In order to get better you need to help yourself and allow yourself to want to get better.

the truth is hiding in your eyes

What the fuck do you do for someone who doesnt even seem to want to help themselves..?

youre clouding up my mind

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:
-Share everything.
-Play fair.
-Don't hit people.
-Put things back where you found them.
-Clean up your own mess.
-Don't take things that aren't yours.
-Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
-Wash your hands before you eat.
-Flush.
-Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
-Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
-Take a nap every afternoon.
-When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
-Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
-Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
-And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.

Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

-Robert Fulghum

Dark clouds eclipse the sun won't shine again

I feel selfish, like I think too much about myself, and not even in a conceited way, not in a good way at all.
Not that being conceited is good.

I think I just have to move on, but I dont know how.

Fuck, I say "I" too much.

The cold wind blows right through my bones

I found a post that I wrote, a little less than a year ago about my dad.
It still holds true, only the part about it getting better, well it did to an extent but the outcome wasnt so great.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Hold your breath and count to four, Pinky swears don't work no more

im so proud of you.
everything that you've had to go through
and you're still holding strong.
we had some really hard times and ill never forget them,
there carved into my memory like sketches into rock.
but i have a feeling things will get better
with what you told me on the weekend, it feels like a weights been lifted off my shoulder
one less thing to worry about.
i am really,
truely,
extremly,
proud of you.
i love you.

Black arrows cut the strings of my heart, I kneel and pray

Have you ever been told by someone, something that made you so sad, no words could describe it, and yet so gratefull that your actions or even words were one of the reasons that their still here..?

Because I have.

Have you ever known someone whose been through so much that you can't even begin to explain how amazing they are for being so strong and being such a great person?

Because I do.

I just hope that they know that they still have their whole life ahead of them. Friends and family who love them unconditionally, including me.
They deserve the best and they should'nt have to go through any more suffering.
Sometimes it's good to let your guard down, especialy in this case.
You don't deserve to feel the way you do, and go through what you're going through.
I love you.

Have faith in me

I'm seriously debating taking a few days off of school.
This may seem "weak" and "Stupid" in some peoples eyes but I mean, it's my life, not yours. If I fall behind, which I will, its my grades, not yours. Plus, it's not like im talking about taking a month off; i'd easily be able to catch up during a weekend.
I'm not going to say I dont care about what others think, because who am I kidding saying that? Of course I care, but who would waste their breath talking about me staying home for a couple days anyway? : p

everything i said, i promised

so guess whose writing an essay on which is better, ignorance and happiness or knowledge and unhappiness, for philosophy..? well either that or something about education, which seemed rather boring so..
I'm probably going to choose knowledge, but I still need to think it over.
I dont even know why im thinking about this so much.
I could write an essay on either choice, well anyone could really.

This all goes to show just how little you really know

I always wonder when I see people listening to music, what their listening to.
You really can't tell just from looking at people what they listen to.
Yes you can guess and could be right but not always.

Just like you never know whats truely going on with someone, until you get to know them.

i hope that you'd want to be the one to see the distance from the road

Would you rather be ignorant and happy, or knowledgable and sad?

Personaly, i'm not sure what I would choose, but I think im begining to lean towards ignorant and happy.
Ignorance is'nt necessarily stupidity, so those who would'nt choose being happy over be knowledgable simply because they don't want to be an "idiot", well theres a fine line between being a dumbass, and being ignorant.
An example of ignorance are people who live in villages in some areas of the world that have never been exposed to our society.
Being a dumbass is taking an exam without studying and/or doing it high out of their mind. Im not saying it's not possable to pass without studying, or being high ( I took my careers exam without studying and I passed pretty well, but that was careers, the exam was a joke) but why take the chance?

I just think being genuinley happy seems a lot better than being unhappy.
This is completly subjective however and some people pride themselves on being knowledgable and theres absolutely nothing wrong with that.

If it came down to actualy having to choose, I know I wouldn't be able to decide right than and there.

for all this, theres only one thing you should know

So don't push me,
I've got nothing to lose

you already know what you are

such a pretty picture
your chalk line on the ground
i hope you die

bleed it out

It's sad how you wont learn from your mistakes.
Especialy a mistake with a huge consequence.
Its really stupid actualy.
You should really start thinking about your actions before you do them.
Ill still always be there for you, but you really should use your logic a bit more.

our broken backs, we beg for mercy

so what started off as kindve an iffy party, turned into some kind of awsome jam.
way to go drama?
i think so:)

behind closed doors

I dont want to feel like I have to fucking take care of you,
not now,
not you,
not again.

bone palace ballet

as of tomorrow i am officialy a volunteer at meadowvale community centre
yay!:)
i really need to get my hours and experience.

tears don't fall

The water is warm
But it's sending me shivers
A baby is born
Crying out for attention
Memories fade
Like looking through a fogged mirror
Decisions too
Decisions are made
Decisions are made and not bought
But I thought this wouldn't hurt a lot
I guess not

time to pretend

This may sound like a stupid question, but,
can you inherit personality traits?
...

how did it come to this?

i dont usualy feel like going out, and yet i dont like being home for one simple reason.
its honestly really creepy having him here, and it'll take a very very long time to get use to it.

our time is running out

new cell bitches:)
bout time, and i was really getting annoyed of my old one, it was starting to fuck up and i completly destroyed it anyways.

absolution

sometimes i really wonder