im scared and nervous.
ive never been so scared in my life.
and i cant tell myself that it will be okay because i dont know that.
ive never had such a variety of emotions at once.
i dont know who to talk to, or even if i want to talk to anyone.
waking up seems harder lately.
i just cant even comprehend that the worst outcome is actualy a possability.
your too young.
i never thought that it was this bad. but im glad i know the truth.
i dont wanna loose you.
you dont deserve this.
i just hope they figure everything out soon and it can be treated.
i know your hurting and your scared aswell and i dont know how you keep control.
you have to be one of the strongest people i have ever met and i admire you so much for that.
thank you for being there for me no matter what. and ill always be there for you.
i love you
"where theres hope theres strength,
where theres strenght theres recovery"
- Bernard Richardson
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Monday, August 24, 2009
second chance
lately, i havnt been that hungry
and im not exactly sure why.
and ive started to realise that things i should be doing are a lot easier said than done.
some certain feelings/emotions are being a bitch and wont go away.
there realing testing my limits
and im not exactly sure why.
and ive started to realise that things i should be doing are a lot easier said than done.
some certain feelings/emotions are being a bitch and wont go away.
there realing testing my limits
30 seconds to mars
i know im probably worrying for nothing but i cant help but.
without knowing exactly whats going on with you and whats going to happen how can i not?
i just hope everythings okay.
it probably will be, im just worrying for nothing
without knowing exactly whats going on with you and whats going to happen how can i not?
i just hope everythings okay.
it probably will be, im just worrying for nothing
Rest In Peace
im going to miss you a lot.
i really wish that i could give you a proper goodbye.
that i could at least be there with everyone.
im not sure what to say but ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
you were a really special person to me and you didnt deserve to go like that.
youll be missed and i hope you knew that you were loved by many.
you were such a sweet woman, and im glad that im at least left with good and happy memories.
at least your in a better place now, watching over us.
again,
ill miss you,
and i love you.
i really wish that i could give you a proper goodbye.
that i could at least be there with everyone.
im not sure what to say but ill keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
you were a really special person to me and you didnt deserve to go like that.
youll be missed and i hope you knew that you were loved by many.
you were such a sweet woman, and im glad that im at least left with good and happy memories.
at least your in a better place now, watching over us.
again,
ill miss you,
and i love you.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
where do i go from here?
Speaking of weather, the other day when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to buy some long underwear. The shopkeeper said to him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."
-Mary Poppins
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
candycanes and kisses
you fucking bitch.
you felt like you didnt feel included?
this isnt a fucking a game its peoples lives.
you cant restart, you cant do over.
honestly i cant believe youd stoop that low.
thanks for starting so much shit, and congrajulations, good job. im pissed.
do you not think of anyone elses feelings before your own?
do you not already have enough guys to go out with, you have to add the one i like to the list?
was it that necessary to start so much shit?
are you that fucking bored with your life?
all your fucking lies, this is partly your fault that this summer crew bullshit is fucking up.
you felt like you didnt feel included?
this isnt a fucking a game its peoples lives.
you cant restart, you cant do over.
honestly i cant believe youd stoop that low.
thanks for starting so much shit, and congrajulations, good job. im pissed.
do you not think of anyone elses feelings before your own?
do you not already have enough guys to go out with, you have to add the one i like to the list?
was it that necessary to start so much shit?
are you that fucking bored with your life?
all your fucking lies, this is partly your fault that this summer crew bullshit is fucking up.
Monday, August 10, 2009
freaks
today,
a character on one of my favourite shows,
a time,
an msn name.
i hate when people say theyll do something and dont fall through with it.
i hate the feeling of being ditched or not worthy,
and its been happening too often lately.
an event on the weekend made me think that im not worth anything to any of you. especialy considering how it related more to me than another person who said it doesnt matter.
how would you feel if everyone knows whats going on and youre the only person being lied to? the ONE person in the entire room who cant know, and as it turn out, i already knew to being with.
in one of my recent posts i hoped for something that, turns out, didnt come true.
its amazing what well do to give ourselves a sense of hope, even though we know its fake.
a character on one of my favourite shows,
a time,
an msn name.
i hate when people say theyll do something and dont fall through with it.
i hate the feeling of being ditched or not worthy,
and its been happening too often lately.
an event on the weekend made me think that im not worth anything to any of you. especialy considering how it related more to me than another person who said it doesnt matter.
how would you feel if everyone knows whats going on and youre the only person being lied to? the ONE person in the entire room who cant know, and as it turn out, i already knew to being with.
in one of my recent posts i hoped for something that, turns out, didnt come true.
its amazing what well do to give ourselves a sense of hope, even though we know its fake.
disappearing hearts
saturday night actualy scared me.
i never want that to happen again please.
i dont want to be pushed that far again by my own emotions.
i never want that to happen again please.
i dont want to be pushed that far again by my own emotions.
if i had my way
i swear this weekend i have never been on my cell so much. sorry to one person in particulare. you know who you are(L)
i fell in love with my sins
saturday he went out.
he wouldnt tell me where or with who which was understandable, privacy . whatever, but it got me thinking.
he didnt get home until past 11 30.
he came home with a golf club.. wtf.
so many questions ran through my mind
i ran up to my room to try and see who it was that dropped him off and go figure it was the person i didnt want it to be. his ex girfriend.
i know hes friends with her which is fine, but he was out with her ALL day,and why wouldnt he want me to know he was with her?
whats with all the damn secrecy?
i just really dont want him to be cheating, im supposed to look up to him.
i might be over exaggerating but its pretty fucking suspiscious on his part.
he wouldnt tell me where or with who which was understandable, privacy . whatever, but it got me thinking.
he didnt get home until past 11 30.
he came home with a golf club.. wtf.
so many questions ran through my mind
i ran up to my room to try and see who it was that dropped him off and go figure it was the person i didnt want it to be. his ex girfriend.
i know hes friends with her which is fine, but he was out with her ALL day,and why wouldnt he want me to know he was with her?
whats with all the damn secrecy?
i just really dont want him to be cheating, im supposed to look up to him.
i might be over exaggerating but its pretty fucking suspiscious on his part.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
danny california
so i finaly got my fucking sin and can officialy start looking for jobs now:):)
damn right bitches
damn right bitches
californication
fucking epic night.
i've never had so much fun with people who are practically strangers.
thank you for not making it awkward and allowing me to feel like i've known you all for longer than 4 hours.
oh my god cant wait for tomorow.
i've been to wondlernad before and its been fun and good but this time itl be amazing and so jokes.
im glad this week turned out to be better than i thought it'd be.
i've never had so much fun with people who are practically strangers.
thank you for not making it awkward and allowing me to feel like i've known you all for longer than 4 hours.
oh my god cant wait for tomorow.
i've been to wondlernad before and its been fun and good but this time itl be amazing and so jokes.
im glad this week turned out to be better than i thought it'd be.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
White sparrows fell from heaven and carried her away
annes cottage this weekend was so much fun.
i needed that break away from the city.
soo many good times.
wasaga was a lot of fun;)
i wanna go back.
deffinitly a great way to spend the weekend.
i needed that break away from the city.
soo many good times.
wasaga was a lot of fun;)
i wanna go back.
deffinitly a great way to spend the weekend.
The cold wind blows right through my bones
i absolutley hate it when my mom closes the window in my room.
i know it sounds stupid and unfair and probably is but it annoys me so fucking much.
for some reason the second window has a lock on it so you can only open it about an inch before the lock blocks it from opening further. its just such a mission to have to unlock it.
and my room gets way to stuffy and hot when the windows the closed.
i mean its my room anyways,if the noise or something from wind bothers her she can just close the door, which i always keep closed anyways.
i know it sounds stupid and unfair and probably is but it annoys me so fucking much.
for some reason the second window has a lock on it so you can only open it about an inch before the lock blocks it from opening further. its just such a mission to have to unlock it.
and my room gets way to stuffy and hot when the windows the closed.
i mean its my room anyways,if the noise or something from wind bothers her she can just close the door, which i always keep closed anyways.
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