Tuesday, April 19, 2011

On the streets, where I walked alone

i miss you, why did you have to leave?
i still need you

In front of you're eyes, It falls from the skies

this isn't fair
you were good, you got better, and one fucking fight with your boyfriend makes you drink again? really?
whatever.
but the fact that you did it 3 times this week... wow. so much for stopping eh?
this is bullshit. its fucking sad how every fight we have had in the past few months have been when you were drunk,and worst of all, you don't even remember them. and i have the problem?
what the fuck are you on.
honestly you are a great mom and i will love you forever, but this is fucking bullshit.
you really don't see how this affects me? one of these times I'm recording you and showing you because clearly me telling you doesn't do shit.
i even tried just letting you pass out on thee couch and not bother waking you up, and you still didn't see the fucking problem.
oh and don't bring my dad into this. im fucking mourning him to and i miss him every god damn day but you don't see me pounding back glasses of wine all the fucking time. oh and by the fucking way, i cant believe you told me that shit.
i didn't want to hear it, i didn't ask to hear it and i refuse to believe it.
next time your drunk and trying to tell me shit, I'm blasting my music. i dont care how much you bitch because its not like youll remember anyways.

whats it going to take for you to stop? are you going to have to get sick from alcohol poisoning? is it going to take you hitting me? you should have stopped the moment i told you what youve been saying and how youve been acting, but apparently thats not enough, you need something worse.
2 years in November and i still haven't accepted it

the sixth of june will bring you home

The hardest part of saying goodbye is having to do it again every single day. Every day we face the same truth that life is fleeting that our time here is short...
-One tree hill

from october, 2009

the hardest part of living is just taking breaths to stay

ignoracne is bliss
but is it really?
i mean honestly, yeah in some situations people would be happier if they didn't know the truth
but its also said that the truth will set you free.
i guess its personal preference, but personally i believe in both.
-truth: i know im going to die one day
-ignorance: i don't know when
and i like it that way

everyone knows the question " if you knew you were going to die tomorrow, or next week, or in 6 months, what would you do?" right?
but what i never realised about that question (until i came across this old post) is how the people who love the supposed dieing person feel about knowing that their going to die.
keep that in mind. it i never just about one person